She and her girlfriends often went out to the bars on Saturday nights in their small East Coast town, dancing and drinking. The situation went from random and inconvenient to anxiety-inducing. She recalls, several years ago, being at a work function on a boat with people and just one bathroom — a night that turned out to be the final straw. No one else noticed the urine trickling down her legs as she waited in line, but Lily was understandably mortified.

Something as simple as sneezing during an allergy fit or jumping during a cardio workout class could cause urine to leak out, says Philip Buffington, M. Your solution: Kegels—yep, the same exercise that can strengthen your orgasms —can build your pelvic floor muscles. Your solution: Kegels will help here, too. The American College of Physicians also recommends treating urge incontinence with overactive-bladder medication. Fesoterodine, in particular, has proven to be successful, note researchers.

But, ever since he was born, I do. Some studies report that one out of 10 women my age are peeing themselves. Others say the numbers could be higher. But peeing in your pants is still embarrassing.